This weekend, the long weekend, I took the time to finish a fellowship application. I probably won't get it, but at least I did my best. My big struggle right now is trying to find some kind of writing escape or other funding to balance out Duty. For the first time since graduation from Warren Wilson, I really miss residency. The first year out went by so quickly--I'd shed so many tasks during the last year of the program, trying to work at a paying job, take care of Robert and Edith, and finish. Getting the family balanced again took a while and absorbed a lot of energy.
These last few months, I'd had what feels like the luxury of beginning to consider what my life might look like in the next few years. I'm still not sure, but I feel as though a direction is starting to form somewhere, and maybe I'll get the map soon. I'm meeting some new people, which always feels like a new beginning for me.
My poem in the summer issue of Cimarron Review is finally out, which feels nice. It's the first time I've really liked the cover of a journal one of my poems has been in. Kind of the same feeling when I buy a new calendar and the picture for March (my birthday is the 22nd) is something I like. For some reason, March pictures are typically depressing, as though calendar makers think of it as a sad time, a time between seasons, a habitual intersection of cold and wet.
Cimarron hasn't posted the new issue yet on their website. Nothing's been said about my poem having a link, but if there is one, I'll post it.